- Did you know that kindness is a natural human trait? We are all born with the ability to love and to be kind to ourselves and others around us.
Being kind to yourself is good for you and supports your wellbeing. After all you spend the most time with yourself right? Since lockdown it is reported that nearly one third of people have said that their mental health has deteriorated, reported by Nuffield Health in May 2020. Since then we have seen a rollercoaster of changes impacting the environment around us and this has affected many individuals and families. Kindness is more important than ever now!
During times of stress, challenge or change the human body goes into fight mode and not only is the mind challenged but the body can take on the physical discomforts too. So often when one is challenged in life, it’s hard to see the rainbow when you are in a storm. Have you ever tried to just stop, take a deep breath and almost do a reset? Kindness starts in the heart and the mind and then is followed by an act. Kindness is a choice and a choosing kindness is a better decision simply because it brings a happier outcome.
This blog gives you some tips to support your mental health and to encourage kindness into every moment of your day
Kindness releases the feel good hormones
Have you ever noticed when you do something nice for someone it makes you feel better too? This is to do with the pleasure centres in the brain and doing nice things for others boosts your serotonin, the neurotransmitter responsible for feelings of satisfaction and wellbeing.
Oxytocin also known as the’ love hormone’ or the ‘cuddle chemical ‘is readily produced in the body when we feel love or when we hug a person or an animal. We produce oxytocin anytime we are genuinely being kind. Kindness releases this hormone and it causes a release of chemicals called nitric oxide which dilate the blood vessels. This reduces blood pressure and oxytocin is also known as being a cardio-protective hormone as it protects the heart.
Kindness strengthens your heart physically and emotionally. Maybe that’s why they say nice, caring people have really big hearts!
Be Kind to Yourself
What you tell yourself each day will either lift you up or tear you down. Pay attention to your self-talk and notice the words you use. Do these words make you feel good? If they don’t what can you do to support yourself so you can flip it and make the outcome a happier one?
Be mindful of your self –talk, relentless and repetitive self-talk impacts our self –image. Turn down the volume of your negative inner voice and create a nurturing inner voice to take its place.
Look in mirror and consciously choose to say kind and loving things to yourself, whilst looking into your own eyes. It might feel awkward or uncomfortable at first but when you regularly start to tell yourself kind and loving things the mind starts to shift and invites in a new perspective. Try it and see your reflection in the mirror and smile.
Here are some things to say to yourself in the mirror, you can choose your own words, say what you would like to hear:
- You are beautiful.
- You deserve a great day.
- Your hair looks amazing.
- You are in the right place on your life journey and everything is just as its meant to be.
- You are loved
Practise Gratitude
Studies suggest that people that practise gratitude and notice things that they are thankful for are happier and have a greater sense of wellbeing. Put some attitude into your gratitude, there is always something to be thankful for, even is some days we have to look a little harder! Reframing situations and looking for the positives can help strengthen your resilience.
Gratitude helps you to fall in love with the life you already have. You can practise gratitude by keeping a written journal and writing in it on a daily basis.
On waking up you can write three things you are grateful for and the reasons why you are grateful for them. If you prefer using the evening you can use the time to reflect on the day and write the three things that you were grateful for during your day. It can feel really difficult to think about what to write at first, but just take a deep breath and reflect and make is simple and easy by not thinking too hard, remember to be kind to yourself always. Actively focus on the positives of the day.
Showing Kindness to Others
Be kind to others. Simple gestures can make a big impact on someone’s day. Doing good for others boosts your own wellbeing and helps brighten up someone else’s day. Kindness is a like a breath of fresh air to someone else when they feel like they are suffocating.
We can perform acts of kindness, maybe you smile at a stranger today, may be you let someone go ahead in the queue at the supermarket today.
We can also be mindful in the way we speak to others and choose our words wisely.
The Three Gates of Speech,’ is often credited to the 13th-century Persian poet and scholar Rumi, who said:
Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates:
At the first gate, ask yourself “Is is true?”
At the second gate ask, “Is it necessary?”
At the third gate ask, “Is it kind?
I hope that this blog gives you a gentle reminder to be kind always. Every act of kindness grows the spirit and strengthens the soul.
To promote kindness it has to start with ourselves at the heart and then we share this kindness on to others. One kind word can change someone’s whole day. The 14th Dalai Lama said “Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.”
Written by Kam Bola, Wellbeing Life-Coach, Yoga and Meditation teacher. Kam is Birmingham based and has been an educator for 19 years, working with adults supporting mental, emotional and physical health. Kam teaches in a number of yoga studios across the city and you will find her working in grass roots communities empowering women to be the best version of themselves. Kam works at ACP The Family Wellbeing Centre in Birmingham. Follow her on Instagram acp.birmingham and @kambola.lifecoach.
