There is nothing wrong with not being happy for a small moment in time, says Birmingham poet Faith Olajuyigbe. Learning to love yourself, she also believes, can take the journey of a lifetime.
It’s this simple ethos that has prompted hundreds of fans to read her debut poetry anthology ‘Words of Faith’ – a collection that stimulates the mind but also sows little seeds that makes readers think and rethink things. Shazad Hussain meets her as she publishes Words of Faith.
For Faith Olajuyigbe, life at the moment is blissful. She’s taking each day as it comes and enjoys a support system in which those closest to her push her to grow in all areas of her life.
The 23-year-old, who graduated from Birmingham City University in 2018 with a degree in English and Drama, places her book in the category of self-help literature. With many people publishing self-help books, creating blogs and podcasts to convey motivational messages as well as some spending money to see fortune tellers and gurus, it’s no surprise to her that humans are obsessed with growth and happiness.
She believes that it is in materialism where humans go wrong in terms of looking for happiness: “We go wrong by seeking material and physical growth, like the dream job, and thinking that this will equate to mental and spiritual growth, things like peace and joy. When really our internal state should not be wholly determined on what we see and achieve externally. Growth and joy should be developed internally as a priority.
“For me, everything in life is about growth. When something ceases to grow, it begins to die. We see this in most cases in nature. So, it’s not much of a surprise that we as people are likewise obsessed with the idea of growth and bettering ourselves. Staying stagnant for too long is a major problem in my eyes.”
What’s noticeable about Olajuyigbe’s work is her emphasis on living in the moment, and her poems remind us how easy it is to assign everyone’s life into one scenario – even though people live with different problems. Humans, she believes, look for quick and simple solutions to attain happiness, and admits she often does the same thing.
“I’m guilty of it myself and I don’t believe it’s all bad. I’m the type of person that seeks the most practical and simple way to get a task done because I don’t like over-complicating minor issues.
“However, with something much more complex such as life and human experience, there is no ‘easy way out’. No ‘get rich quick’ solution or scheme to fix a depth of issues that run deeper than the surface portrays. Quick fixes for serious issues will only magnify them in time. Once you understand this, your perspective changes completely and you become more patient with the process and solution.”
Happiness, she says, is an emotion that comes and goes based on circumstances: “To put it simply, one moment I can be happy and the next moment I can be sad and that’s just a fact of human life. Emotions fluctuate. Sadness, anger, grief, frustration and the other emotions we feel are all a normal part of life experience. There is nothing wrong with not being happy for a small moment in time. To be happy 24/7 is not wholly normal because you’ve now denied your full spectrum of emotions from being expressed.
“I’m more concerned with being at peace as opposed to just feeling happy. Feelings change, but peace remains. When I’m at peace, I can find joy in the midst of feelings such as sadness because I understand how that very sadness is necessary and purposeful. Without initial peace, any happiness is just an emotion that can leave as quickly as it comes.”
Her poem Unworthy, Yet Worth It follows a broken man finding his true worth, and Olajuyigbe believes social media has exacerbated overthinking. It has made it easier for people of the current generation to feel worthless and difficult to value their position in life – because of comparing themselves to those on the other side of the screen.
“No one can really define what happiness looks or feels like to you except you because happiness means so many different things to different people, so it’s impossible to define or chase. We can learn from others but at the end of it, it’s an internal thing which we cultivate ourselves. So, in a way, we ‘teach’ ourselves to be happy.
“I believe social media plays a big part when it comes to comparison, which can lead to overthinking and anxiety. At times we put our daily lives up against the glamorous lives we see on social media and then aspire to that.
“When this happens, it becomes harder for us to enjoy our blessings because we’re busy coveting someone else’s. It’s definitely important to have a ‘reality check’ with ourselves and understand how and why we perceive our lives the way that we do.”Themes of growth and overcoming the comfort zone are also examined. The common view is that happiness is about accepting yourself for the way you are, hoping that all you do in life will have a positive outcome and saying thank you rather than please all the time. Contentment, though, can cease growth and cause people to live in a comfort zone, which is why Olajuyigbe believes a person’s fear of change is detrimental to their happiness and has to be overcome in order to grow.
“For me, I often find on the other side of my fears and anxieties is the growth that I desire and need. Fear is something that can make us unreasonable, because it clouds perfectly normal situations and steals our joy and happiness in them.
“Fear is something that is overcome by being challenged directly. The more you do something, the less you fear it. At times it’s difficult but fears can only be overcome by facing them directly. One thing that helps me overcome the fear of change is knowing that the feeling of regret and missed opportunities weighs heavier than the initial fear to change. I’d rather go all out and fail than fear and regret.”
As a devout Christian, the presence of God plays a crucial role in her life as well as her work. She puts the exploration of the human state of sinning in her collection to her viewpoint that sinning affects whether a person experiences, or is deprived of, happiness.
“For me it’s important because sin affects us deeply whether we like it or not. Relationships, friendships, careers etc can all be destroyed because of sin. Lives are tainted because of sin so it’s important to explore why.
“I explore it because it challenges us to look inwardly and not outwardly at the downfalls of others. Before we can cast stones, we must first deal with our own ‘toxic’ behaviours and traits. As a Christian, I’ve found that acknowledging my sin and failings before God helps me to progress, helps me to better myself and interestingly, it helps me to be more compassionate and forgiving towards others who are also sinning.”
There’s something utterly relaxed, self-assured yet energetic about Olajuyigbe. It’s therefore unsurprising that the ultimate message behind Words of Faith is for readers to believe that they have the capacity to make life as beautiful as they want it to be.
“Loving yourself is a lifelong journey. As we change and grow, we need to consistently review our self-image and sense of self-worth.
“Naturally, I’m a very introspective person and I’ve come to a place in my life where I’m not in denial of my flaws. This acceptance keeps me humble and allows me to love myself for who I am and not just who I aspire to be.
“As of now, I know what I struggle with, I know the things I do wrong and I know where I’m trying to grow. As I get older, I discover more of what I’d like to improve on, but all of this does not take away from who I am today.
“I feel doubt, loneliness, self-pity, and I fight these emotions by renewing my mind. This starts with me praying, reading my Bible and also talking to genuine people who I trust. I don’t let emotions dictate my actions or cloud my perception on reality.
“I’ve become grateful for the person I am whilst I reach forward to the person I want to be. I do believe I love myself, however, I’m always working on growing and showing that love to myself daily.”
By Shazad Hussain
Shazad is an NCTJ Journalism student who graduated with a degree in English Literature. His interest lies in feature writing and specialises in writing about sport and culture. His work investigates under-represented topics like race, faith and identity in football.
